FRIDAY FAVORITES

The second week of summer break has come and gone very slowly. It feels like it's been a full month, ugh. There is only so much you can do in town before you sign yourself up for an online class at the local community college and go gluten-free. So, out of sheer boredom and lack of wheat, here is a list of some of my favorite things that I've been liking as of late.

Favorite outfit/look:

Favorite floral decoration: 

Favorite person: 

Favorite drink:
Iced spicy chai, made with coconut milk

Favorite underrated activity: 

Favorite quote:

"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk through my garden forever." 

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

Favorite song:

See the World by The Kooks

xoxo,

Z

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Having Your Cake and Eating It Too: The Lucky Girl’s Guide to Getting What You Want

Stuck in a rut? Had your leg recently amputated? Learned your ancestors were slave owners? Well look no further. We are here to help you in all areas of your life and help you get exactly what you want, when you want. 

1. You want that guy to like you? Well you’ve come to the wrong place for that, maybe check out A Smart Girl’s Guide to Boys by American Girl. I will say though, shower regularly, get a perm, and brush up on your foreign languages because every American guy is a big fat duck.
2. Want to have lots of money? Pay with hugs and kisses. Or learn to save your money, you stereotypical American over-consumer! You’d probably be a millionaire by now if it weren’t for those tupperware sets and that BoFlex 500 impulse buy.
3. Want to expand your social life? Go to college ragers. Specifically Ivy League ragers, where they wear Tevas, drink alcohol at all hours of the day, and discuss foreign agenda. 
4. Want to make more friends? Make a LinkedIn account, a Google+ account, and go to neighborhood meetings and meet that one mom who has gone through too many vans and orders creamer and fish sticks from Schwans delivery trucks.
5. Want people to like you a bit more? Stop ordering an iced latte with the ice on the side. And maybe get rid of those nervous eyes and seasons 1-6 of Seinfeld on box set (jk keep those they will be worth so much in coming years.)
6. Want toned thighs? So do I. 
7. Want to be sexy? Girls- less is more. Also, make sure a guy catches you in the dentists office reading Family Circle and Better Homes and Gardens. This will make you seem like wife material. Guys- sit in a coffee shop and write in your journal and post American poems on Instagram- show your sensitive side. As long as you are poetic and philosophical and occasionally shop at REI, the world is your oyster. 
8. Want to keep your healthy scalp? Use Head & Shoulders (knees and toes), and coconut oil & greek yogurt hair masks to deflake those lil suckers.
9. Want to keep your insides up and running? Go gluten-free. No seriously, it’s life changing. Also kombucha, hemp seeds, coconut water, hot yoga, and fresh air (on NPR) will keep those organs nice and tuned.
10. Slowly decomposing away? Losing your wits and nuts and bolts? Here’s how to keep your youth: laughter is everywhere and it can help you live longer. Take care of your body and find time for yourself and those who matter most. You will learn that there is no love like a mother’s love and no time like the present. Look up from your phone, stop instagramming that garbage and go plant some plants or simply relax in a tube. 
11. (#10 continuation) Want to keep your youth? Go with the flow, with the waters. Don’t have a stick up your rear. Enjoy good wine, bad television, and don’t forget to pumice your feet. (Yes, that is what that thing does. Now use it!)
12. Want to keep your lips extra kissable? Use rose salve or Vaseline every night before bed or whenever necessary. Keep those puckers extra soft and at the ready (to bite into your next gluten-free meal.)
13. Want to rid of that weird rash? Me too.
14. Want to retain moisture in your hands? Well, let me tell you about a new feat I’ve just recently discovered. Use your remaining coffee grounds as an exfoliant. It smooths and moisturizes, leaving your hands extra soft and ready to hold anyone’s hand or pet the nearest puppy. 
15. Want to be the next Oprah? Michelle Obama? Barbara Walters? As if!!!!!
16. Want to graduate college with a 4.0? Get off your phone and open a book for one. Go to class, make valuable connections in your department, travel abroad, get an internship, and steer clear of that questionable “fish” in the dining hall. I ate some of that once, and now I have to settle for a 3.9. Srsly though, if you really want something in life, nothing is stopping you (except for the on-campus bike police). 
17. Want to be the change you see in the world? Stop repeating that timeworn quote and actually do something you see no one else doing. 
18. Want to be more intellectually minded? Learn the art of being bored. It is okay to be bored and left alone with your thoughts rather than cluttering it with technological noise. Also surround yourself with people who encourage intellectual banter. And NPR is always a good idea (especially Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me! with Carl Kassell and Peter Sagal.)
19. Want to live simply? Buy some overalls, plant some begonias, turn on some bluegrass, read your Bible, meditate, make a cup of french press coffee. Be mindful and present.
20. Want to have a life? Don’t sit in your basement writing a list of success tips. 

*If you do all of this within the next 24 hours, you should see results. If not, call our complaint hotline at 

1-800-IMREADYTOPARTY

The Dos & Don'ts of Your College Freshman Year

Freshman year flew by. Come back, come back, I whisper to it. You will find yourself at the end of it contemplating all the laughs and memories you've had. Clarissa and I have compiled a list of advice and mediocre wisdom for incoming college freshman. 

1. Don’t send the president of your university a letter signed by “your peasants” 
2. If you get your TA’s number, call him. A lot. 
3. The best way to look your best and still eat what you want: Eat really bad but satisfying foods BUT go to the gym all the time. 
4. DO get involved with your campus television station (even if that means holding a camera in place for an hour and a half) because the people you will be working under will move to LA and work for Ellen, E! news, Buzzfeed, etc.
5. DO go to parties, even if you’re uncomfortable. - C
6. DON'T go to parties, especially if you’re uncomfortable. -Z
7. Don’t leave a party 5 minutes in and walk across town to a coffee shop without telling your friends. They will be mad.
8. DO stay up till 3 a.m. in lounges with your friends. 
9. DO make friends with the ones who look “weird.” They have the most interesting things to say. 
10. DO support on-campus food trucks.
11. It’s best not to find your professor attractive, even if he is. 
12. DON’T post on social media that you find him attractive. His daughter might see and feel weird.
13. DON’T panic if you see your professor at the gym. 
14. DON’T feel bad for changing. That’s what college will do to you. Embrace it and remove those from your life who shame you for growing as an individual. 
15. Spend some time people watching. 
16. Take drives to scenic areas and take a break. 
17. If the universe presents the opportunity to talk to a cute boy, take the opportunity. Or else you will be single and alone at the end of the year.
18. DO go on sprang break with the best people you know. 
19. If you can skinny dip outside of a presidential candidate’s home, do it.
20. Meet and become friends with at least one person from every floor in your dorm. 
21. Make friends with people from housing & dining (Carter), & always be gracious when they serve you mediocracy in the form of food.
22. If you see a person eating alone, sit with him and be his friend. He might know the person who you really like, and it can be a great in. 
23. Make your dorm room homely; it doesn’t have to feel like a jail cell. 
24. Everyone will tell you before you leave that boys will flock to you when you get to college. DO. NOT. BELIEVE. THEM. They lie.
25. DON’T go into college with ANY expectations. You probably won’t make 100 new friends and boys will not fall instantly in love with you. It’s just not likely. 
26. Be comfortable being alone. 
27. Call your mom a lot.
28. Find your favorite local coffee shops and shower them with your constant business. They will love it, will remember you, and you’ll make cool friends.
29. When you see a puppy, PET IT.
30. If you have the opportunity to have sleepovers on your friends floors, do it. 
31. Always be nice to and respect your RA, and they will love you. It’s best to be good friends with your RA. 
32. In winter, you’ll need to wear every warm item of clothing you own so that your unbearable trek across campus won’t end in frostbite and hypothermia. 
33. BE FRIENDS WITH CAMPUS SQUIRRELS.
34. (In reference to #38) dress in layers, especially if you go to school in Colorado. You might leave your dorm with the sun shining and breeze lightly blowing through your greasy hair, and then it’ll be snowing when you get out of class.
35. Be okay with gaining 5-10 pounds - you’ll need extra blubber in the winter anyways.
36. DON’T complain about gaining weight. It is inevitable and there are way more important things to worry about. 
37. GO TO CLASS. GO TO EVERY CLASS. (Sorry, Horticulture 100 by Harrison Hughes)
38. Even if you wake up with sniffles and a broken back, you best get yourself to you 9:30 a.m. class. You don’t want to lose participation points. This is the real world.
39. When you schedule your classes, try to make all of them after 11 a.m. 
40. Parties are not like they are in movies. Guys aren’t that creepy, either. Everyone is usually very nice. 
41. Avoid frat houses. 
42. Always wear sunscreen, as you’ll be outside plenty.
43. Always have a full stock of disinfecting wipes, trash bags, kleenex, and toilet paper. 
44. Start a Spotify playlist at the beginning of the year and see how your music taste has changed by the end.
45. You’re allowed to be creepy, this is your time.
46. Now is the time to be out of your comfort zone.
47. If you feel the urge to yell sweet nothings at a passerby, do it. 
48. Take every opportunity to have intelligent banter with those around you. They’re worth more.
49. Try to bring your car with you, even though everyone says you don't need it. You might want to escape to the mountains every so often. 
50. College is pretty funny, especially when everyone takes themselves so seriously. So find the humor in most things because it'll fly by. 

Follow these rules and you'll be on the dean's list