How To Deal With Unrequited Love: For Dummies

My problems are minuscule compared to most, but I do know I'm not the only person in the world who struggles with the opposite sex. The feeling you get when the one person you adore doesn't reciprocate the feeling is universal. It has to be one of the worst feelings ever, aside from stubbing your toe. Whether it be your boyfriend or girlfriend breaking up with you without sound reasoning or a parent leaving when you were young, it sucks not being wanted. IT SUCKS, she yells to an open field. I've loved many a time, and by love I mean stalking through various media outlets, haha :( We all do it, don't gIVE ME THAT FACE. I can honestly say that not one of the guys I've liked in my lifetime has liked me back, and that is not an exaggeration, ask my mom. 

There's a quote from one of my favorite movies The Holiday that puts it well: 

"...There's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!"

Maybe it's our fault, the mopey, undesirable ones. Maybe if we would actually talk to that person instead of laying on our beds of pain, we'd be less soggy and more like the couples we see on Tumblr. My favorite technique to snag the dudes is to simply keep a safe distance from the predator and have my friends do the talking when we approach. I have a zero percent success rate so you'd be better off taking my friend Lyss' advice. 

If you're dealing with unrequited love, I can't give you any advice because I'm in the same boat. A banana boat, actually. On my way to Venezuela and Brazil to join the Yanomamo tribe. In 10 years I will emerge from the jungle with a hardened heart and low cholesterol. 

Love, Z